Dads

I’ve been thinking about dads a lot lately. Maybe it’s because I’ve just become one for the second time. Yes, I am now responsible for molding and shaping two innocent, beautiful, impressionable little boys into men. That task is more than a little intimidating. Being a dad is probably the most significant thing I will ever do with my life. I’m a husband, a son, a friend, a leader, a follower, and a pastor, but the role that seems to have the least room for error is the role of a dad.

I have a great dad. He’s SO different from me, but he’s incredible in his own way. His birthday was last month and he’s impossible to buy a gift for. He doesn’t wear ties. He owns every tool known to man. He never wants anything. If he does want something he buys it for himself. Usually I take him to dinner and try to come up with some not-too-lame gift. He is so selfless (in a good way) that he normally won’t even choose a restaurant because he wants us to go some place we like. So when I asked him where he wanted to go for dinner he said “I dunno. Wendy’s?” My dad is a simple man and pretty easy to please. I took him to dinner (not at Wendy’s) and for his gift, I wrote him a 3 page letter telling him all the things I appreciated about him. Now if I thought long enough I could probably fill 3000 pages of reasons he’s great, but I knew he’d appreciate my attempt at simplicity, so I kept it to three.

Writing the letter probably impacted me as much as reading it impacted my dad. I think it’s healthy to intentionally focus on the positive aspects of other people.

I want to share with you one small part of that letter that I keep thinking about:

…Our picture of God as our father is always to some extent shaped by our experience of our earthly father. As I meet with people who struggle with that because their dads weren’t around or were jerks, I am so thankful that I have you as a dad. You have demonstrated sacrificial love throughout my life. It’s so easy for me to see God as a loving and giving father because I have seen you…

As I think of my boys and my job as their dad, I think that’s the challenge I’m most concerned about. How will they see their heavenly father in light of their experience with me as their earthly father? The more I think about all the relationships we have in life the more I see how the way we interact and treat other people, especially as followers, impacts their ability to interact with God. Sometimes positively sometimes negatively.

I can’t “put a bow” on these thoughts and say they’re done, because they’re not. I have a lot more thinking to do on the “dad” topic. But I think there are two things I’d like to challenge you to do.

1) Think about your dad (or other significant people in your life) and make a list of things you’re thankful of him for. Even the biggest jerk in the world has to have some kind of positive attribute. As I’ve said, my dad is great, but even he and I haven’t always agreed on everything and no one is perfect, including him. As you’re doing it, keep in mind that sometimes the things people don’t do are more significant and more positive than the things they do.

2) Think about how your perception of God has been shaped by the influential people in your life – dad and others.

I’m pretty selfish a lot of the time. Even my selfless acts are often fueled by some less-than-altruistic drive deep within me. Here’s praying my boys see beyond that, see beyond me, and are able to see the real Father - the one they can always count on to love them unconditionally, point them in the right direction, enjoy who they are, and do it in the absence of selfish motives.